The sun is a friend to me. It lights up the way to myself, filling me with gratitude and wellbeing. Even when it shines in my face while I’m trying to write. I cannot become too annoyed. I know that to become annoyed is to invite a breakdown. Being a man requires calmness and patience. For myself, my world, and my life.
Every day I get up when the sun rises, and go to sleep when the sun sets. I didn’t decide to do this, it just happened. There is a healing power in the activity of revolving my life around the sun. Being awake at the crack of dawn gives me a certain earthly perspective on life. When I was revolving my life around the night, my life revolved around the dark sun of unearthly tendencies. I had this need to indirectly harm myself, and others through thoughts and speech. It wasn’t until my awakening that I realized that I disconnected myself from the life of the planet.
I am a learning man. I have made many mistakes in my youth. Mostly centered around lack of self-reliance. Not necessarily the self-reliance that I learned as a young adult, which is primarily about making a living and obtaining independence. No, It’s a self-reliance that develops out of refusing to let circumstances control my thinking. In the past, when I lost my freedom, I wallowed in sorrow and anger. Anger that I was wronged, sadness for freedom I gave up fighting against the law. By my own hand, I created the conditions of my life. Not only did I go against the divine law of life, I let my own pain of being in a world I created, upset my natural equilibrium that I came to this earth with.
Now I spend my days undoing that harm. This is good. It is right that I suffered. Suffering taught me how to really live. Life is treacherous climb, each handhold is a series of movements into an alignment, or misalignment with what is. If I slip on a handhold of fear, or on a handhold of self-righteousness, I’ll fall into the abyss. No, I will grab the handhold’s of love and calmness so I can ascend onto a solid ground of peace.