Contemplations

I heard about Mental Health Awareness Month from another Youtuber “Ben Gravey” a surfer who was an alcoholic who changed his life through surfing. I had a life-changing experience myself and I thought it would be a good idea to share it.

In 2017 I had a brain hemorrhage. The doctor said it was brought on by out-of-control blood pressure. To be fair, my blood was high pressure back then so they may have been right.

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Dear kinsman, I am writing this letter to you in the message of the spirit in the hopes that you will receive it one day. You have been missing for a generation. We have heard from the Great Soul that you have become lost in the “Forgotten Land” where many of our brethren have gone missing. We wonder why you have taken a detour from your pilgrimage to the final resting place. Your stop in that place worries me. The Forgotten lives behind a false image of what can never truly be. This illusion, that they all play a part in, puts a strain on us all. The strain comes from a knowledge that life before was vastly different than the life they live today. We are concerned that your life force has been caught between worlds while you remain in that place....more

The sun is a friend to me. It lights up the way to myself, filling me with gratitude and wellbeing. Even when it shines in my face while I’m trying to write. I cannot become too annoyed. I know that to become annoyed is to invite a breakdown. Being a man requires calmness and patience. For myself, my world, and my life.

Every day I get up when the sun rises, and go to sleep when the sun sets. I didn’t decide to do this, it just happened. There is a healing power in the activity of revolving my life around the sun. Being awake at the crack of dawn gives me a certain earthly perspective on life. When I was revolving my life around the night, my life revolved around the dark sun of unearthly tendencies. I had this need to indirectly harm myself, and others through thoughts and speech. It wasn’t until my awakening that I realized that I disconnected myself from the life of the planet.

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I come alive when I get out of my own way. After I had a Cerebral Hemorrhage back in 2017, my physiology changed. I will call this health challenge “The Event” moving forward. A turning point in my life that was on the level of how an earthquake shakes up the landscape. I spontaneously developed different habits and goals for my life. And it changed the kind of person I was destined to be. New habits sprung up automatically and without any prompting: a daily morning regiment, increased productivity in my pursuits, an unending peace, and a lack of fear for the future that I cannot explain. I enjoy habits that bring on new pursuits, but I still carry this overwhelming feeling of loss with me everywhere I go. I believe “The Event” created a sole soul purpose within me, to become a new man. One that is patient, kind and understanding....more